Thursday, September 6, 2007

Hello World, Here's Why I'm Here.

So it seems that there is a little negativity surrounding this blog. Justifiably so.

But if every morning, you walked out and found piss, feces, garbage, rotting food, broken beer bottles, and the like, you'd be a little negative yourself.

What is the purpose of this blog? Just like I said in the inaugural post - to make sure that people know what they could be getting into when they think of renting here.

I rented here because I wanted to be close to the park, with my girlfriend, and live in a place that wouldn't break the bank. My studio costs nearly $1,000/month and is not rent stabilized. You call that cheap? Maybe compared to Manhattan. But I feel sorry for the person who has to pay more for it next year!

When I came to check the place out, there was no trash in the lobby, nor were there feces or urine in the hallways or steps, or bums sleeping wherever they pleased. While I thought the place was certainly not perfect, I never imagined it would be like this. I rented it so quickly because I was tired of seeing places around the park for hundreds of dollars more a month and not being nearly as nice. I was afraid that something I thought I could get would be rented from under my nose. I'll be the first to admit that the inside of my studio is very nice.

I realize the landlord has little power to correct the conditions here. I'm just warning prospective tenants who were once in my position to stay out of this place and however much another building charges for rent, it's worth it.

I have no hate for Brooklyn or PLG. I realize the parade post was off-topic and have since removed it. There are many nice people I've in 10 Midwood. Nonetheless...

Monday, September 3, 2007

10 Midwood: Lobby-ing for Change.

It never gets any better. I'm so sick of this.

10 Midwood: Stairway to Heaven? Hell No.

I was coming down the steps this morning and found all this nastiness near the lobby. I went right back up and grabbed my camera because I thought you guys might like to see this.

Can we get a health inspector? I'm calling on Tuesday.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

10 Midwood: In Rare Form Today!

I have not posted in a few days. This isn't because things at 10 Midwood have improved - I just was busy! It still sucks here.

I woke up this morning and found 10 Midwood to be fit for a king today. Wanna see?

Coke can in the elevator.

Mystery hair.

More free food for Midwood pets!

Thirsty? Have a malt liquor.

Morning mystery meat. Delicioso!

Soon to be deceased from eating the morning mystery meat.

Extra storage space for everyone!

Wow! Now THIS is an accomplishment.

An old classic. Who doesn't like stepping in shit on the steps?

All these photographs were taken in a five minute time frame. Can you imagine living here? Don't do it. I wish I hadn't.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

10 Midwood: May I Have More Piss, Please?

How much piss can one building have?

If piss were oil, 10 Midwood would be Saudi Arabia.

Now this is just getting ridiculous. I see a few reasons why all this might be happening.

1) The landlords are not fixing people's toilets, thus causing them to piss everywhere in the building.
2) There are a lot of bums sneaking around and peeing all over stuff.
3) Some people just don't care about where their pets urinate and don't give a second thought to the health hazard they create for others.

Screw you, 10 Midwood. Seriously.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

10 Midwood: A Recipe For Morning Delight!

Ever feel the need for a nice morning wake up treat? Try it the 10 Midwood way!


1 big puddle of piss
1 dog durd
1 broken beer bottle

Bake overnight for optimum smell in the morning. Mmmmmmmmmmmm!

Friday, August 17, 2007

10 Midwood: The Piss Goes On.

Pleasant surprises like this make life worth living.

I got up to walk the dogs today, and look what was waiting for me in the 'hell'avator! Good morning humongous puddle of piss! Shame on the person who doesn't clean up after their dog (or themselves). That's 10 Midwood style, folks. Apathy towards living in filth.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

10 Midwood: A Magical Piss-Filled Fantasy Land.

Someone couldn't hold it in! Human or animal...we'll never know.

When I walked in this evening after a long day at work, I was greeted by the smell of fresh urine and this gigantic puddle of piss by the stairs. Needless to say...

I was pissed off.

Would you want to pay rent to live here? Don't piss away your money.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

10 Midwood: The Writing Is On The (Elevator) Wall.

Makes you feel nice and secure, right?

If you are lucky enough to live on the third floor of 1o Midwood, you get to read some really neat graffiti every time you get off the super-deluxe elevator. There are such notable quotables as...

No Bloodz Allowed. Yes, these probably are the same Bloodz from 'Crips and Bloodz' fame. I hope that there are no Crips living here. Is this a gang building?

Fuck Da World - Fuck Bitches. Reading this when you get off the elevator puts you in an inspired state of mind. After all, we all wanna fuck some bitches, right?

Oh 10 Midwood, you have so much culture and character!

Friday, August 10, 2007

10 Midwood: A Bum Rap.

Goodnight moon! Goodnight shoes! Goodnight drunken bum on steps!

If you feel lonely after moving into 10 Midwood, rest easy knowing that you can meet lots of new friends in your travels up and down the steps if the awesome elevator isn't up to your standards. Since the lock on the front door of 10 Midwood is constantly broken (don't ask me how!), drunken vagrants can wander in and set up shop for the night in the stairwell.

"Meet new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other...wasted..."

Monday, August 6, 2007

10 Midwood: Elevating Standards.

Peanuts! Get your peanuts here! Peeeeeeeeeeeeeanuts!

10 Midwood provides free snacks to anyone who will eat off the ground.

What a charitable building. Food for everyone!

Believe it or not, these photos were taken on a "clean" (note the quotes) morning at 10 Midwood. The elevator is constantly filled with crumbs and leftover food. I guess since there are not very many restaurants in Prospect Lefferts Garden, 10 Midwood's elevator is one of the most scenic eateries around. I fear taking my dogs in here every day, wondering what they will try to eat and if what is on the floor will kill them. One time I found pills on the ground and my puppy put it in his mouth! Disgusting!

Good Morning 10 Midwood!

Top o' the morning to you, empty bag.

Hello Dorito bag and take-out container!

Clean as a whistle. (A whistle that has been in a landfill.)

Who needs singing birds in the morning when you have garbage and litter strewn about your entranceway? Every morning you can wake up to crunchy broken glass, chicken wing bones, various food containers, empty bottles, and empty cans which compose the lovely potpourri of crap surrounding 10 Midwood. Oh what a beautiful morning...

10 Midwood: A Cut Above.

Fun for the whole family.

A few days ago I noticed this rusty knife laying on the fireplace mantle in the lobby. Here's how I do the math:

Free rusty knife + shady neighborhood = crime.

Maybe I'm just paranoid. In any event, I threw this out this morning. Midwood's a little safer, for now. But as one 10 Midwood resident can attest...

Sure beats "Welcome" or "Home Sweet Home," doesn't it?